Big Brother is Watching You
by EATnRunBandit
Summary: AU YULLEN: The headmaster of the orphanage where Allen currently resides, signs him up for the local community program, “Big Brother/Big Sister”. The two new “brothers” are not on good relations but can't abort from their "brotherly" relationship.


I hope everyone is familiar with this type of program. I've never experienced it before, but somehow it seems very interesting. Keep in mind that this is just a "Big Brother/Big Sister" program. No adoption involved, it just involves one kid have an older person as their inspiring influence.

… Kanda the Inspiring Influential Big Brother. Has a nice ring to it.

--

**Big Brother is Watching You**

The headmaster slumped into his chair and crossed his arms, his mouth curving down in a nonsensical manner. His oddly shaped glasses slide down on the bridge of his nose as he looked at the two boys sitting in front of his desk. "Oh, not in good terms already, I see," he said to them in a humorous tone as a pitiful attempt to lighten the dreadful mood suffocating his office. The two frowned as they too crossed their arms and looked in the opposite direction of the other.

"Well there's no helping it." Headmaster Komui shrugged. "You two signed up, you two were paired up, and now you two are stuck together for life. So why the glum faces?"

The one with lengthy black hair tensed his arms, his veins popping up in anger. "Komui, I hate the program. It's stupidly pointless and yet that old afro man signed me up for it. So I have no choice but to do it. So how about you do me a favor, and replace that stupid idiot over there with someone more _agreeable_."

The boy with white hair sneered at the older. "The feeling is mutual, girly man."

Komui slurped from his coffee mug. "My my, only from one little play date, and now this? Very interesting indeed."

From the look of Kanda and Allen's face, it seemed that they wanted to gag. "Play date? Gross," they said. Then the two glared at each other, disgusted by the fact that they spoke the same words simultaneously. The headmaster found this very amusing.

"Well, I do admit," Komui said, "that the first time you guys hung out ended up very disastrous. How old are you two exactly? Getting into a brawl over spilled food? What are you, preschoolers? I've even seen preschoolers that are more mature than you two. They even have lovers for Christ's sake. Both of you better behave properly or my own welfare will end up in jeopardy. I had to pay for the damage in that café you know. Out of my own pocket you know. My own life's savings. What happens if you two keep on breaking other people's property? How am I supposed to take care of my beloved sister if I'm broken poor by you two's juvenile misconduct?" Tears welled up in his eyes, the steam from stress fogging up his glasses. "My poor sister! How will I take care of you then?!"

"Shut up," Kanda growled. "If you're so worried about your money, then separate us. It's the only solution."

"Finally," said Allen. "Something we agree on."

"Damn straight."

Komui appeared to calm down and perched up his glasses, taking another sip from his mug. "Sorry, no can do."

"What?! Why not?!"

"Because, you're asking the wrong person. I'm just the humble headmaster of a humble orphanage. Who you need to ask is the higher ups from the community center. If you ask them, maybe they can do something about your little problem."

"But we already asked them," Allen said. "They told us that if we want to abort from the Big Brother/Big Sister program, we need to participate in it at least four months."

"Okay, then participate for four months."

"No way in hell!"

The headmaster strained his eyes in stress and placed his forehead in the palm of his hand. "Right _now_ your relationship is very unsteady, but I am sure that anything hostile between you two will disappear. Once, I heard about a story of two 'Brothers' who had a very huge age gap of thirty-eight years and yet their brotherly bonds are still going strong today, even after three decades. Isn't that amazing? Since your age gap is just three years, in no time, you two will also have that lovely brotherly bond."

Kanda despised when Komui would tell him "life" stories to prove his point. "The hell—who do you think I am, a miracle worker?"

Allen thoroughly agreed wholeheartedly. "If we're supposed to be the 'Brothers' that you say we are, how is that going to happen when this total idiot next to me can't even get along with his real brothers?"

"They're not _real_ brothers," Kanda stated. "We're adoptive brothers, dumb ass."

Komui stood up from his chair and bid the boys off the couch. "Now, it's nice to chat and all but unfortunately, I am a busy man. So off with you boys." He pushed them out of the office, and before they knew it, they were already outside of the orphanage. "And isn't today a Saturday? Why don't you two go on a play date? Today is such a fine day, how about the amusement park? Oh, that sounds like fun. Too bad I can't join in," he said with a grin.

Kanda shrugged the man's hand off his shoulder and stomped towards the black car parked next to the sidewalk. "Play date, my ass," he muttered.

Allen sighed and turned towards his headmaster. "Komui, why did you have to sign me up for that program?" he asked. "Was there any particular reason for doing so?"

Komui just smiled and waved towards Kanda who was sitting in his car, facing forwards with a frown. "Allen. I love my sister and I wouldn't replace her for anything in the world, but there was a time—one moment, where I did earnestly wish for an older brother."

The boy look up at the Chinese man in confusion. "Huh?"

The headmaster chuckled. "Alright, there's no need to detain you any further. Your 'brother' is waiting for you isn't he?" In the car, Kanda was angrily yelling at the boy to "hurry it up or I'll kill you". Allen shouted back at him to shut up and walked towards the man's car while waving good-bye to Komui. As he reached out to the door handle, a clicking noise detained the boy before he could open the door.

Allen's fingers twitched. "Not letting me in, I see?"

Kanda leaned his back against his seat. "Get in the back, Beansprout. _No one_ sits next to me."

"Asshole. As if I'd sit next to you."

"Good. Now get in before I drive off without you."

The boy entered the back section of the car and slammed the door as he slumped himself into his seat. He glared into the rear view mirror.

Kanda's dark eyes met Allen's through the reflection. "Put on your seatbelt, brat," he ordered. "Are you dead set on getting me a ticket?"

"Hm… good idea."

"I'll kick you into the curb if you don't put on the damn seatbelt."

The white-haired teen slowly grabbed for his seatbelt next to him and tugged the strap towards the buckle at a snail's pace, all the while grinning at the man through the mirror. But that grin was soon wiped out, when Allen's body was suddenly jerked forward with his head butting into the seat in front of him as the car quickly jolted backwards. Kanda, with one hand on the wheel, exhaled sharply as a driver driving by honked at him. He then looked back at the boy, who had rolled down the window and stuck his head through while heavily breathing in and out.

Kanda smirked. "And that's what happens if you don't wear your seatbelt, Beansprout."

Allen tilted his head to glower at the driver. "You bastard. Are you trying to kill your Brother?"

"That be nice. One less 'sibling' to deal with."

"Ha." Allen felt like throwing up his breakfast.

"Who'd want a 'brother' like you anyways?"

--

He pressed the button on and off, causing the window next to him to slide up and down. Allen did this continuously until Kanda was finally fed up with it.

"Stop doing that. I'll kick you out of my car."

Allen put a hand to his chin and sighed in boredom. "Not until you tell me where we're going."

"We're going to your grave, asshole."

"No really, where are we going," the boy said while looking out the window. "You're car's so boring and I'm hungry." Allen paused for a slight bit to wait out the storm of his growling stomach. "Let's go eat," he decided.

Kanda clicked his tongue as he pressed on the brake to slow down at a red light. "And after what happened last time? As if. And who the hell do you think is going to pay for it?"

"Why you, oh Big Brother," Allen stated. "You're the one with the money, after all."

"Tch, this is going on your tab, brat," Kanda said.

Allen twitched in shock. "What! You're going to give me a debt?"

"You eat like a pig, sprout, considering how short you are. When you're older, you're going to regret your daily binging from the moment you can't see your toes."

The white-haired boy slumped back into his seat and folded his arms behind his head. "Is it that fun throwing insults at other people? Do you think yourself so insignificant that you enjoy picking out the sore spots of others?"

The man pressed his foot on the petal as soon as the green light was lit and looked back at his passenger in the rear view mirror. "Call me whatever you like Beansprout, and it won't make a difference of the situation."

"What?"

"I know you hate this stupid program almost as much as I do, but I have no choice in the matter. Besides the fact that my old man signed me up without consulting me, this 'Big Brother' thing is also contributing to my community service. It benefits me in a good way, so why don't you help out and shut the hell up. You're not making this job any easier."

"Well I'm so glad that it helps _you_ out, but I don't get anything out of this," Allen retorted. He leaned his head against the head rest; his locks of white hair gently blew from gusts of wind.

"As if that's my problem," replied Kanda.

The boy closed his eyes, trying to clear out any single thought away from his mind.

The man stared at the boy through the reflection and quickly looked away to the front of the road. "… So? What do you want? Hurry up before I change my mind."

Allen widened his eyes. "Eh? You're actually buying me food?"

"On _your _tab. When someday you get adopted and find a job, you're going to pay me back big time. With 0.78% interest."

"Heh, figures. (But what the hell is with the 'someday'? Are you implying something?)" He put his chin in his folded hand and smiled, wondering of what lunch meals he should eat.

"Let's eat cheeseburgers," the boy finally decided. "With extra large fries. And maybe some tacos and some chicken, a mango smoothie and—"

Kanda made a sharp left turn and glared at Allen through the mirror. "No greasy food. We're eating soba."

"Hey, that's not fair!" Allen yelled. "You said _I_ could choose. Just because you're Japanese you want soba."

"Shut up with the racist comments. You should be grateful I'm taking you to eat. You can starve to death and I won't give a damn."

"You're an ass of a Brother," Allen commented.

"You're not exactly 'World's Best Brother' yourself, Beansprout," countered the grumpy driver.

--

Haha… ha… consider this a one-shot **for now**. I just wanted to write it on a whim. (I do need to update on other stories after all, which I am not accomplishing at the moment). Gawd, I think I failed at this. It's random and has no plot whatsoever... oh well.

(By the way, anyone recognize the title anywhere?)

Ja~


End file.
